I’ve Got a [Paternity] Secret

 

Do I have a secret? [Noun] No.

Did my parents hold birth circumstances as secret story? Yes.

Were they unaware of the pregnancy that came with mom? Yup.

Did my mother deceive my father about her pregnancy. No.

Did my parents create our family through deception? No.

Did my parents create a deceptive “origin of our family” narrative? Yes.

Have I been angry about the secret? about the deceptive narrative? No.

Have I ached knowing costs to them of hiding their truths? Yes.

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  9 January 1957

SECRET – NOUN

Origin: Late Middle English: from Old French, from Latin secretus (adjective) ‘separate, set apart’, from the verb secernere, from se- ‘apart’ + cernere ‘sift’.

Denotative: a piece of information that is not generally known or is not known by someone else and should not be told to others:

  • Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.

‘a state secret’

‘at first I tried to keep it a secret from my wife’

confidential, confidence, private affair, skeleton in the closet
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  • Something that is not properly understood; a mystery.

I’m not trying to explain the secrets of the universe in this book’

mystery, enigma, problem, paradox, puzzle, conundrum, poser, riddle, question, 

  • A valid but not commonly known or recognized method of achieving or maintaining something.

‘the secret of a happy marriage is compromise’

recipe, formula, blueprint, magic formula, key, answer, solution

SECRET – ADJECTIVE

  • not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others.

“how did you guess I had a secret plan?”

synonyms: confidential, restricted, unrevealed, undisclosed, unpublished, untold, unknown, uncommunicated, behind someone’s back, under wraps, unofficial, off the record, not for publication/circulation, not to be made public, not to be disclosed

antonyms: known, public, visible, overt, open, known about

  • not meant to be known as such by others.

“a secret drinker”

synonyms: clandestine, covert, undercover, underground, hidden, shrouded, conspiratorial, surreptitious, stealthy, cloak-and-dagger, hole-and-corner, closet

  • fond of or good at keeping things about oneself unknown.

“he can be the most secret man”

synonyms: uncommunicative, secretive, unforthcoming, reticent, private, media-shy, taciturn, silent, noncommunicative, quiet, tight-lipped, close-mouthed, close, playing one’s cards close to one’s chest, clamlike, reserved, introvert, introverted, self-contained, discreet

antonyms: open, communicative, chatty

DECEIVE – VERB

  • Deliberately cause (someone) to believe something that is not true, especially for personal gain.

‘I didn’t intend to deceive people into thinking it was French champagne’

synonyms: swindle, defraud, cheat, trick, hoodwink, hoax, dupe, take in, mislead, delude, fool, outwit, misguide, lead on, inveigle, seduce, ensnare, entrap, beguile, double-cross, gull

  • give (someone) a mistaken impression.

‘the area may seem to offer nothing of interest, but don’t be deceived’

  • deceive oneself; fail to admit to oneself that something is true.

‘it was no use deceiving herself any longer—she loved him with all her heart’

  • Be sexually unfaithful to (one’s regular partner)

‘he had deceived her with another woman’

synonyms: be unfaithful to, be disloyal to, be untrue to, be inconstant to, cheat on, cheat, betray, break one’s promise to, play someone false, fail, let down

DECEPTION – NOUN

  • The action of deceiving someone.
synonyms: deceit, deceitfulness, duplicity, double-dealing, fraud, fraudulence, cheating, trickery, duping, hoodwinking, chicanery, underhandedness, deviousness, slyness, cunning, craft, craftiness, wiliness, artfulness, guile, dissimulation, dissembling, bluff, bluffing, lying, pretence, artifice, treachery
trick, stratagem, device, ruse, scheme, dodge, manoeuvre, contrivance, machination, subterfuge, cheat, swindle, confidence trick

DECEPTIVE – ADJECTIVE

  • appearance or impression different from the true one; misleading.
synonyms: misleading, illusory, illusive, illusionary, ambiguous, deceiving, delusive, distorted, specious
deceitful, duplicitous, fraudulent, counterfeit, sham, bogus, cheating, underhand, cunning, crafty, sly, guileful, scheming, perfidious, treacherous, machiavellian, dissembling, disingenuous, untrustworthy, unscrupulous, unprincipled, dishonest, untruthful, lying, mendacious, insincere, false

 

 

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